Wedding Bells Part Two - Planning Your Wedding
Happy Tuesday Afternoon People!
Last time I spoke about the When, the Where and the Who and deciding on your budget. Now everything else!
The Wedding Party
So you have your list of people to invite. Who are your VIP's? Who's going to part of the Wedding Party? Here again is another minefield for many people. In a time of extended blended families and large friendship groups how do you decide who to give the big roles to? It's going to sound like a cop out but I can't tell you what to do it really is up to you. One thing I will say though is this - if you have a small budget be realistic about having 9 bridesmaids unless you have very understanding family and friends who are prepared to pay for their own dresses and shoes and same goes for your man - does he need 4 groomsmen and the cost of suiting and booting them?
I had zero bridesmaids and flowergirls (obviously because of the no kids rule!). I had some of my close friends on team bride (who organised my hen party for me) but I didn't want to have to choose. I figured rather than put peoples noses out of joint I would again just work on the blanket principle and have no bridesmaids, no favourites. Monkey had one best man and no other groomsmen (officially anyway his other best pal was a great wing man during the planning/actualising process!).
So our wedding party was 4 people who had direct roles in the wedding - Monkey, Myself, my Dad and Monkey's Best Man.
Now I want to talk about inviting all those lovely guests you've got on that list.
Save The Dates and Invites
Now you can do save the dates BUT in my opinion a save the date is like an invite to an invite. If you are on a budget why spend up to £3.50 each on, for example a beautiful wooden engraved save the date, because for 100 guests that is a whopping £350 out of your budget and all you've told them is the date. These things sadly will ultimately go in the bin unless your friend or family member is a sentimental horder. A practical route is magnets - also readily available but these can still cost you around £1.75 each which is £175. These can be still stuck to your friends fridge-freezers months after the I do's and for your single friends they are the reminder that they're still single whilst they reach for the bottle of wine and microwave meal for one. Another original save the date I've seen is pencils but even they were £55 for 100. Any left overs would make a handy reminder for a forgetful spouse as a constant reminder of when your anniversary is! So in conclusion - save the dates. They're handy perhaps if you are planning a long engagement but honestly I am not sure that they are worth it. We didn't bother and it didn't make our day any less special.
There are about a million options out there for your invites. If you have the money in your budget there are some beautiful handmade designs available on Etsy and Not on the high street but these like the save the dates tend to be priced individually so whilst it would be amazing to have one with a stylised portrait of the two of you do you really need it at £2.50 a pop?
Cheaper options are available like using a template on websites such as Vistaprint and if you are crafty or have a friend or family member who is crafty you could ask them to design or make them for you and tell them that can be their wedding gift.
This is the route Monkey and I went down. We have a very talented friend in graphic design called John (check out his website here) and we wooed him with a tasty dinner and he helped us design our invites. I had a sugar skull I had designed (because I love skulls) and John incorporated it perfectly. Our day ones looked like this,
and we had separate ones for the evening guests. Admittedly you may think it is a faff to have two different invites but we wanted the evening guests to have their own special invite and they had a different password to RSVP. I have hunted for an invoice for the printing costs but can't find it but we got about 80 of each design printed and it cost us £37.50. That's about 47p per invite. Bargin. And what counts most is that we loved our invites. They were unique and they perfectly reflected us.
Wedsite
I realise I sound like an old woman here but why when you look for invites they are a 4 piece set now? You have the invite, the details card, the RSVP card, the envelope for the RSVP card and the envelope for all these to go in. I truly believe that an invite should be one sheet of paper. Everything else is just going to get lost in the piles of papers that people have around their homes. If nothing else think of the poor rain forests!
This is where a wedding website or 'Wedsite' comes in handy. It has all the useful information in one place for your guests. If you are tech savvy you can buy your own domain and go to town but if you, like me, don't know your 0's from your 1's then a template website is for you! There are a whole bunch out there but we used Getting Married after being recommended it by some friends who used it for their wedsite.
Our wedsite included little profiles on each of us for those who didn't know our prospective spouse well, it told our story, had all the important information such as time's and locations with the benefit of linking to maps, had a map that showed accommodation for out of town guests and it's FAQ section can be a godsend hopefully saving you from the constant stream of questions from friends and family by having all the answers.
Wedsites are also great if you are registering online for gifts as you can link the two sites together.
The key point for us was the advantage of our guests being able to RSVP online. No fussing over finding people's RSVP cards but an email notification when a guest had done it online and all the information could be easily transferred over into my wedding spreadsheet.
The most important thing about the wedding websites is that most sites are FREE unless you choose premium service.
Getting Organised
Nothing says wedding quite like a lovely spread sheet or a colour coordinated table denoting who's guests are whose and who we share. Just me?
I have a folder on my desktop just titled Wedding and at least once a week during my engagement I was working on a file in that folder.
It contains one spreadsheet which is just our guest list but it contains every bit of information I might need about that guest. Below is a sample.
It is a beautiful thing. The most important cell was the one at the bottom of the column marked RSVP YES. This had the total of everyone coming to the wedding. This way I was never scrabbling for RSVP cards (which granted we didn't have because we had the wedsite) and I had a constant running total.
Another important wedding spreadsheet was the one that showed me what everything was costing us.
Here I could keep track of what we had paid and what we had left to pay after any deposits. I could also keep a running total of what each section was costing us in the last column which is a great idea if you have a budget breakdown. You can stick another column in there with what you've budgeted and then keep track of how far over/under your limit you are.
This spreadsheet also gives me the headings for the next few paragraphs to stop me from waffling about everything. I'll talk a little about what we did and what everything cost but I don't want to get too into it as we could be here for ever if I tried to cover everything in depth.
THE IMPORTANT BITS
In no particular order for us these were;
Our PHOTOGRAPHER was a gem and luckily a bargain but it can be one of the biggest costs for a wedding. It is so so important when looking not to narrow yourself down to a city search but search within a region as many photographers will and do travel all over for a job but just check whether they will charge you extra for this before you book.
When we found Stephen he was, at the time, mainly a landscape photographer who did the wedding photography on the side and only did a few weddings a year. His price at the time, £600, reflected this but now his reputation has deservedly grown. Again I can not point out how lucky we were as the average starting price for a photographer is double what we paid. WE WERE LUCKY! If you find a photographer who seems like a bargain. Meet them, ask to see their portfolio, see if they get a real feel for you and your partner as a couple. This person is going to be in charge of recording one of the most important days of your life a it is worth paying a little more for that quality because you don't get a do over.
When you are browsing for WEDDING RINGS don't rely on what you can find on the high street. Yes they are convenient but if they don't have what you want don't settle. We went online in our search because Monkey wanted a less traditional metal like tungsten for his ring and I knew I wanted anything but gold gold. I was tempted by custom jewelers but we just didn't have the funds for the ones I had found. Then we found Wedding Rings Direct. They had a great selection of rings and offered a try before you buy service which was great when figuring out size and style of ring (believe me I had no idea there were so many). They also offered a bespoke service (a little too cha-ching for us) and a service to customise a ring if you couldn't see exactly what you wanted. We were able to choose metal, weight, width, finish, engraving and diamonds. This is what we went for and we got the rings we wanted (although we went for titanium not tungsten in the end) for £188.
FLOWERS are an important part any wedding right? Every bride dreams of her bouquet? So here is the reality - Florists are freaking expensive!!!! It's not just the bouquet it's also button holes and bridesmaids posey's and then the flowers for the hall/church for the ceremony and then flowers for the tables at the reception. Or not. The average price for wedding flowers is between £500 - £700 (sources here and here - see not just making it up!). There are many other options when it comes to flowers - many people have silk flowers as they are a lasting keepsake but they can be just as expensive as the real thing. Many brides have alternative bouquets made of a giant single flower or multiple small paper flowers, brooches or buttons. Don't feel like you are limited. I had a go at making my own bouquet from paper and fabric flowers but the perfectionist in me was not satisfied with my results so I decided on real flowers. I researched local florists and the same thing here applies as with the photographer. Go in and meet the florist. Talk to them about what you want and what you envision. Look at examples of their work. Make sure that you are happy that they have a real feel for what you want. The last thing you want the day before or the morning of is being delivered a shockingly bad bouquet that is nothing like what you wanted and looks like it was put together by your blind uncle Brian.
We spent £80. I had a beautiful bouquet (which had herbs and berries in as a nod to my cheffy occupation) and the only other flowers we had were 3 buttonholes and one wrist corsage for my mum.
CLOTHING, HAIR AND MAKE UP
In this category are;
SO I was £600 down and had two dresses. I called up the first place and asked if I could cancel the white dress and just buy the original in red. Turns out they had sold it and would have to make me another but it was ok they had measurements for me they had taken when I was there last and their sizing system was averaged as the dresses tied up rather than relying on buttons or zips. The day saved.
Last note on dresses. Remember to have some money set aside for any alterations. Your dress may be perfect but it may also be designed for someone who is 6 foot tall when you are a humbler 5'4". I also had about a foot and a half trimmed off the train which was no mean feat for the lovely seamstress that I found (Perfect Stitch in Newcastle Upon Tyne) as there were about 4 layers of fabric she had to cut as well as removing the lace trim and then sewing it back on after. Alterations cost £250 which I thought was a fair price for the work that they had to do and the fact that they bought me back in for fittings to make sure it was spot on. Quality work is not cheap and when all eyes are going to be on you it's not worth crying over a dodgy hemline!
The finishing touches to my outfit were my Iron Fist shoes which were a steal on Ebay (I won at £22) and my veil which was a bargain at £5.69. I customised it a bit by adding my something blue (a tiny blue skull bead).
The last two groups on the list before we get to food and drink I will mix together because in some cases they over lap. MISCELLANEOUS and DECORATIONS. The costs we incurred here are slightly more than you might face yourselves but these were the counter costs in some cases of not going to a venue which gives you a package deal.
We hired our glassware from Sainsburys for £20. If you search around you will find many of the large chain supermarkets offer this service. Ask at customer services for more information next time you pop in. The only additional cost is the cost of any breakages but usually this will come out of the deposit - yes that £20 was a deposit which we got back when we returned them!!
For our 100 guests we hired;
We had to buy most of the dishes we served our food in because the Teahouse didn't have any large serving platters. I refused to have our food served on those silver foil platters reminiscent of an 80's buffet and bought proper crockery from the supermarket (I fell in love with a pattern and waited until it was reduced to buy it) and also from charity shops. These sections also cover the cost of our guest book which was a retro mini bonnet that we bought and our friend, who is a mechanic, sprayed it and put a sticker on it for us which we had made up which had our names and the date of the wedding.
There was also the cost of the presents that we bought as thank you's for those who had been involved and helped us with the wedding and the other little things that if you are not careful can quickly add up.
The Teahouse has a quirky charm and aesthetic and I played on this with the decorations I bought. My general theme was A Midsummer Night's Dream meets Iron Maiden with a bit of Star Wars thrown in there for good measure so I bought metres of faux ivy, flower garlands and bunting along with fairy lights to achieve this look.
Last time I spoke about the When, the Where and the Who and deciding on your budget. Now everything else!
The Wedding Party
So you have your list of people to invite. Who are your VIP's? Who's going to part of the Wedding Party? Here again is another minefield for many people. In a time of extended blended families and large friendship groups how do you decide who to give the big roles to? It's going to sound like a cop out but I can't tell you what to do it really is up to you. One thing I will say though is this - if you have a small budget be realistic about having 9 bridesmaids unless you have very understanding family and friends who are prepared to pay for their own dresses and shoes and same goes for your man - does he need 4 groomsmen and the cost of suiting and booting them?
I had zero bridesmaids and flowergirls (obviously because of the no kids rule!). I had some of my close friends on team bride (who organised my hen party for me) but I didn't want to have to choose. I figured rather than put peoples noses out of joint I would again just work on the blanket principle and have no bridesmaids, no favourites. Monkey had one best man and no other groomsmen (officially anyway his other best pal was a great wing man during the planning/actualising process!).
So our wedding party was 4 people who had direct roles in the wedding - Monkey, Myself, my Dad and Monkey's Best Man.
Now I want to talk about inviting all those lovely guests you've got on that list.
Save The Dates and Invites
Now you can do save the dates BUT in my opinion a save the date is like an invite to an invite. If you are on a budget why spend up to £3.50 each on, for example a beautiful wooden engraved save the date, because for 100 guests that is a whopping £350 out of your budget and all you've told them is the date. These things sadly will ultimately go in the bin unless your friend or family member is a sentimental horder. A practical route is magnets - also readily available but these can still cost you around £1.75 each which is £175. These can be still stuck to your friends fridge-freezers months after the I do's and for your single friends they are the reminder that they're still single whilst they reach for the bottle of wine and microwave meal for one. Another original save the date I've seen is pencils but even they were £55 for 100. Any left overs would make a handy reminder for a forgetful spouse as a constant reminder of when your anniversary is! So in conclusion - save the dates. They're handy perhaps if you are planning a long engagement but honestly I am not sure that they are worth it. We didn't bother and it didn't make our day any less special.
There are about a million options out there for your invites. If you have the money in your budget there are some beautiful handmade designs available on Etsy and Not on the high street but these like the save the dates tend to be priced individually so whilst it would be amazing to have one with a stylised portrait of the two of you do you really need it at £2.50 a pop?
Cheaper options are available like using a template on websites such as Vistaprint and if you are crafty or have a friend or family member who is crafty you could ask them to design or make them for you and tell them that can be their wedding gift.
This is the route Monkey and I went down. We have a very talented friend in graphic design called John (check out his website here) and we wooed him with a tasty dinner and he helped us design our invites. I had a sugar skull I had designed (because I love skulls) and John incorporated it perfectly. Our day ones looked like this,
 |
| Apologies I have removed Monkey's name to maintain his secret identity |
and we had separate ones for the evening guests. Admittedly you may think it is a faff to have two different invites but we wanted the evening guests to have their own special invite and they had a different password to RSVP. I have hunted for an invoice for the printing costs but can't find it but we got about 80 of each design printed and it cost us £37.50. That's about 47p per invite. Bargin. And what counts most is that we loved our invites. They were unique and they perfectly reflected us.
INVITES COST - £37.50
Wedsite
I realise I sound like an old woman here but why when you look for invites they are a 4 piece set now? You have the invite, the details card, the RSVP card, the envelope for the RSVP card and the envelope for all these to go in. I truly believe that an invite should be one sheet of paper. Everything else is just going to get lost in the piles of papers that people have around their homes. If nothing else think of the poor rain forests!
This is where a wedding website or 'Wedsite' comes in handy. It has all the useful information in one place for your guests. If you are tech savvy you can buy your own domain and go to town but if you, like me, don't know your 0's from your 1's then a template website is for you! There are a whole bunch out there but we used Getting Married after being recommended it by some friends who used it for their wedsite.
Our wedsite included little profiles on each of us for those who didn't know our prospective spouse well, it told our story, had all the important information such as time's and locations with the benefit of linking to maps, had a map that showed accommodation for out of town guests and it's FAQ section can be a godsend hopefully saving you from the constant stream of questions from friends and family by having all the answers.
Wedsites are also great if you are registering online for gifts as you can link the two sites together.
The key point for us was the advantage of our guests being able to RSVP online. No fussing over finding people's RSVP cards but an email notification when a guest had done it online and all the information could be easily transferred over into my wedding spreadsheet.
The most important thing about the wedding websites is that most sites are FREE unless you choose premium service.
WEDSITE COST - FREE
Getting Organised
Nothing says wedding quite like a lovely spread sheet or a colour coordinated table denoting who's guests are whose and who we share. Just me?
I have a folder on my desktop just titled Wedding and at least once a week during my engagement I was working on a file in that folder.
It contains one spreadsheet which is just our guest list but it contains every bit of information I might need about that guest. Below is a sample.
It is a beautiful thing. The most important cell was the one at the bottom of the column marked RSVP YES. This had the total of everyone coming to the wedding. This way I was never scrabbling for RSVP cards (which granted we didn't have because we had the wedsite) and I had a constant running total.
Another important wedding spreadsheet was the one that showed me what everything was costing us.
Here I could keep track of what we had paid and what we had left to pay after any deposits. I could also keep a running total of what each section was costing us in the last column which is a great idea if you have a budget breakdown. You can stick another column in there with what you've budgeted and then keep track of how far over/under your limit you are.
This spreadsheet also gives me the headings for the next few paragraphs to stop me from waffling about everything. I'll talk a little about what we did and what everything cost but I don't want to get too into it as we could be here for ever if I tried to cover everything in depth.
THE IMPORTANT BITS
In no particular order for us these were;
- The Ceremony (including the booking fee, notice of marriage, ceremony fees and 3 copies of the marriage certificate - read Wedding Bells Part One)
- Photographer
- Invites (above)
- Rings
- Florist
Our PHOTOGRAPHER was a gem and luckily a bargain but it can be one of the biggest costs for a wedding. It is so so important when looking not to narrow yourself down to a city search but search within a region as many photographers will and do travel all over for a job but just check whether they will charge you extra for this before you book.
When we found Stephen he was, at the time, mainly a landscape photographer who did the wedding photography on the side and only did a few weddings a year. His price at the time, £600, reflected this but now his reputation has deservedly grown. Again I can not point out how lucky we were as the average starting price for a photographer is double what we paid. WE WERE LUCKY! If you find a photographer who seems like a bargain. Meet them, ask to see their portfolio, see if they get a real feel for you and your partner as a couple. This person is going to be in charge of recording one of the most important days of your life a it is worth paying a little more for that quality because you don't get a do over.
When you are browsing for WEDDING RINGS don't rely on what you can find on the high street. Yes they are convenient but if they don't have what you want don't settle. We went online in our search because Monkey wanted a less traditional metal like tungsten for his ring and I knew I wanted anything but gold gold. I was tempted by custom jewelers but we just didn't have the funds for the ones I had found. Then we found Wedding Rings Direct. They had a great selection of rings and offered a try before you buy service which was great when figuring out size and style of ring (believe me I had no idea there were so many). They also offered a bespoke service (a little too cha-ching for us) and a service to customise a ring if you couldn't see exactly what you wanted. We were able to choose metal, weight, width, finish, engraving and diamonds. This is what we went for and we got the rings we wanted (although we went for titanium not tungsten in the end) for £188.
FLOWERS are an important part any wedding right? Every bride dreams of her bouquet? So here is the reality - Florists are freaking expensive!!!! It's not just the bouquet it's also button holes and bridesmaids posey's and then the flowers for the hall/church for the ceremony and then flowers for the tables at the reception. Or not. The average price for wedding flowers is between £500 - £700 (sources here and here - see not just making it up!). There are many other options when it comes to flowers - many people have silk flowers as they are a lasting keepsake but they can be just as expensive as the real thing. Many brides have alternative bouquets made of a giant single flower or multiple small paper flowers, brooches or buttons. Don't feel like you are limited. I had a go at making my own bouquet from paper and fabric flowers but the perfectionist in me was not satisfied with my results so I decided on real flowers. I researched local florists and the same thing here applies as with the photographer. Go in and meet the florist. Talk to them about what you want and what you envision. Look at examples of their work. Make sure that you are happy that they have a real feel for what you want. The last thing you want the day before or the morning of is being delivered a shockingly bad bouquet that is nothing like what you wanted and looks like it was put together by your blind uncle Brian.
We spent £80. I had a beautiful bouquet (which had herbs and berries in as a nod to my cheffy occupation) and the only other flowers we had were 3 buttonholes and one wrist corsage for my mum.
TOTAL COST FOR IMPORTANT BITS - £1183
CLOTHING, HAIR AND MAKE UP
In this category are;
- The Dress/Shoes/Veil
- His Suit
- Make Up Artist
- Hairdresser
I know usually it's ladies first but in this case the chaps are easier so I'll just do them first.
Now it is a general rule of thumb but put a man in a SUIT and he will look good. I don't know many, if any, men who don't look good in a suit. It doesn't need to be an expensive suit but it must be a well fitting one.
Monkey didn't actually buy a suit especially for our wedding he wore a suit that he bought 8 months previously for his best pals wedding and he and his best man just bought waistcoats and ties. The suit was from Matalan. The Groom from that other wedding also bought his suit and the suits for the rest of the groomsmen from Matalan. Here again is the rule - not an expensive suit but a well fitting suit! The other bonus is that Monkey will wear this suit again not like many wedding suits/jackets which are specially made or have the wow factor that is great for a wedding day but is a little much for otehr suit wearing occasions. Monkey's best man also paid for the waistcoat and tie as a present which made his outfit even better value for money. I think the only thing we actually bought for Monkey was a white shirt from Marks & Spencer and the lego set so I could make a pair of cufflinks each for him and his best man (the little storm troopers in the photo with the rings)
The main thing that a bride will think about when she envisions her wedding is THE DRESS. I made some mistakes when I was searching for the one and I'm here to stop you from making the same mistakes. First off - you have a vision in your head of what you are going to wear but try on lots of different styles and fabrics. I thought I knew what I wanted. Something a little kooky, different but elegant. It was perhaps 3 months since Monkey has proposed and I went with a friend of a road trip to Yorkshire to look at this little boutique that was near her parents that she had recommended. This was my first mistake. Travelling miles and miles is only great when you have the time and money and most importantly a car so you can travel easily for fittings etc (which I didn't and don't). I'd seen images of dresses from this shop online and it seemed perfect. They made them all themselves and if they didn't have the exact dress already made they would make it. I tried on a most of their range and thought I fell in love with one which wasn't a traditional dress but it was very flattering. It was red and I did want white so I put down a deposit of £150 for it to be made exactly the same but in white. Good right? It would have been but I made my second mistake. Another girlfriend had become recently engaged a few months later I went with her to have a look at wedding dresses at a bridal outlet store called Wed2B. She was trying on dresses and to kill some time I started browsing dresses in my size and decided to try a couple on for funsies.
Here in was my undoing. I fell in love. It was traditional, long, white, lace and with a bodice that was a supportive kapow that also managed to be very demure. It also had a price tag that was very, very, very reasonable at £456 (there are 3 very's there because in the world of wedding dresses anything under 4 figures is generally a steal!). The main factor was that when I looked at myself in the mirror in this dress I felt like a bride where as when I wore the other dress I had just seen myself in a dress that I was going to get married in.
This is what you are searching for. Don't settle for a dress that you can get married in find the one that makes you feel like a bride.
Here in was my undoing. I fell in love. It was traditional, long, white, lace and with a bodice that was a supportive kapow that also managed to be very demure. It also had a price tag that was very, very, very reasonable at £456 (there are 3 very's there because in the world of wedding dresses anything under 4 figures is generally a steal!). The main factor was that when I looked at myself in the mirror in this dress I felt like a bride where as when I wore the other dress I had just seen myself in a dress that I was going to get married in.
This is what you are searching for. Don't settle for a dress that you can get married in find the one that makes you feel like a bride.
SO I was £600 down and had two dresses. I called up the first place and asked if I could cancel the white dress and just buy the original in red. Turns out they had sold it and would have to make me another but it was ok they had measurements for me they had taken when I was there last and their sizing system was averaged as the dresses tied up rather than relying on buttons or zips. The day saved.
Last note on dresses. Remember to have some money set aside for any alterations. Your dress may be perfect but it may also be designed for someone who is 6 foot tall when you are a humbler 5'4". I also had about a foot and a half trimmed off the train which was no mean feat for the lovely seamstress that I found (Perfect Stitch in Newcastle Upon Tyne) as there were about 4 layers of fabric she had to cut as well as removing the lace trim and then sewing it back on after. Alterations cost £250 which I thought was a fair price for the work that they had to do and the fact that they bought me back in for fittings to make sure it was spot on. Quality work is not cheap and when all eyes are going to be on you it's not worth crying over a dodgy hemline!
The finishing touches to my outfit were my Iron Fist shoes which were a steal on Ebay (I won at £22) and my veil which was a bargain at £5.69. I customised it a bit by adding my something blue (a tiny blue skull bead).
I didn't have an easy ride with finding my MAKEUP ARTIST (or MUA). My first issue was finding one who was good (ALWAYS CHECK THEIR PORTFOLIO!!!!) and at a price I could afford. I found many on my initial google search and then as I started ringing through them to see if they were available on our wedding date. One trick (OK trick sounds a bit harsh they are trying to earn a living) that many will charge you a group price or a higher price because it is peak season. I was constantly asked how many people it would be for and I could almost feel the disappointment when I said it was just me and that I didn't really fancy paying the fee for 3 people. If you do have bridesmaids as well as yourself these people are great and their deals good value for money.
Finally I found one who's portfolio looked good, they were at a price I could afford and they were free on our wedding day. Next is always pay for the make up trial if it is not included in the package that they are offering. This is so important. You get to meet each other, they get a feel for what you want and you have the time for trial and error which you do not have on the big day. The trial is also a great get out of jail free card which I found to my expense.
This MUA had a portfolio which looked good, they charged a fair price and they were a very nice person but the trial did not work out well. The look that they achieved was not what I wanted and it looked very poor. I lost my deposit and the price of the trial but that £60 was still a expense worth paying rather than looking like a clown on my wedding day.
To my rescue came the wonderful Madelaine Jane a MUA who I had won a free trial from on Facebook (Brides - competitions from local companies who offer wedding services are an awesome way to get parts of your wedding discounted or for free - enter as many as you can because it never hurts if you win!!!). Unfortunately I won her competition after I had already booked my original MUA but decided to use my free trial for my Hen Party so I could look super glam! She was great and had set the bar for the wedding MUA. Then after the disaster trial with the MUA I had originally booked I got in contact with her and quite literally begged her to help me out (I confess I had had a little bit of a wedding related meltdown). Fortunately she was free but she was booked to do the makeup of one of our wedding guests. I called my pal and we arranged it so that she would come to the house to get her makeup done before me on the wedding day thus saving the day!
I hate to seem jammy but my HAIRDRESSER is a close friend so my hair on the day was a wedding present and didn't cost me anything. Jess (who works at Aubergine in Newcastle) even helped Monkey with his hair before he left to get ready at his Best Man's. I did have a trim and my colour done a few days before the wedding which cost me about £70.
I would recommend talking to your own hairdresser to see what they offer in terms of wedding styling. If they are someone who has cut your hair for a long time they are going to know what you like and even if they are unable to style your hair themselves they will know someone who will be able to help!
TOTAL COST FOR CLOTHES/HAIR/MAKEUP - £929.78
The last two groups on the list before we get to food and drink I will mix together because in some cases they over lap. MISCELLANEOUS and DECORATIONS. The costs we incurred here are slightly more than you might face yourselves but these were the counter costs in some cases of not going to a venue which gives you a package deal.
We hired our glassware from Sainsburys for £20. If you search around you will find many of the large chain supermarkets offer this service. Ask at customer services for more information next time you pop in. The only additional cost is the cost of any breakages but usually this will come out of the deposit - yes that £20 was a deposit which we got back when we returned them!!
For our 100 guests we hired;
- 100 champagne flutes
- 96 high ball
- 96 wine
- 60 pint
We had to buy most of the dishes we served our food in because the Teahouse didn't have any large serving platters. I refused to have our food served on those silver foil platters reminiscent of an 80's buffet and bought proper crockery from the supermarket (I fell in love with a pattern and waited until it was reduced to buy it) and also from charity shops. These sections also cover the cost of our guest book which was a retro mini bonnet that we bought and our friend, who is a mechanic, sprayed it and put a sticker on it for us which we had made up which had our names and the date of the wedding.
There was also the cost of the presents that we bought as thank you's for those who had been involved and helped us with the wedding and the other little things that if you are not careful can quickly add up.
The Teahouse has a quirky charm and aesthetic and I played on this with the decorations I bought. My general theme was A Midsummer Night's Dream meets Iron Maiden with a bit of Star Wars thrown in there for good measure so I bought metres of faux ivy, flower garlands and bunting along with fairy lights to achieve this look.
TOTAL COST OF MISC & DECORATIONS - £659.63
And that I think is most of the important bits covered. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments if you think of anything I have missed. I didn't want to get too bogged down in all the details.
At this point the running total of our wedding was £2792.83 of our original budget of £3000 leaving us £207.17. Now had we been able to sit down and see this figure before we bought the food and drink we would have realised that we were ultimately going to go over but the problem is that it was a running total and you don't get to see the total really until the end once those last fees have been paid. Now is the bit where I say that sometimes you have to change your budget as you go. It's crap but it is true and it's not great advice I know. We fell into the trap of wedding spending but it's the problem with making a budget based on estimates. I applaud anyone who guesses their prices just right when they first sit down to plan a wedding and create a budget and stick to it.
With this lesson learned I will say this now - make a budget but allow yourself a buffer of a third of your budget to go over if you need to. This would make the top end of our budget now £4000.
Next time I will finally get to talk you through catering your own wedding and wedding bar!!
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